ASOS sleeveless coat and skirt / second hand turtleneck / Ivanka Trump OTK boots / OSHHxBeneath the Coat belt bag
As you might have noticed, Beneath the Coat is not all about personal style anymore but rather including my personal thoughts on everything I find suitable writing about. It takes me longer to publish new content on the blog and I’m sorry for that. But all of you who are following me for outfit inspiration, you still have plenty of that on my Instagram account. For those who are willing to dedicate their precious time to read what I have to say, thank you for your time, I can only hope my words will not bore but rather inspire some of you.
The whole idea came after I realized that many women I’ve had a chance to meet and even get to know in the last year, don’t understand and or even approve my new lifestyle – a happy single woman. They don’t understand that I feel absolutely complete and satisfied without a man holding my hand and kissing me goodnight every day. Falling in love is the world’s greatest feeling and when it will happen to me next time I’m sure I’ll embrace it with all my heart, but I am not binding my happiness to that exclusively and waiting for it to happen helplessly. I am also extremely happy when one of my experiments works, when I get to spend a wonderful night out dancing with my friends, when I get a good morning snuggle from Toshi or simply because I’m incredibly lucky to be able to live my life on my own terms. It really shocks me when I see a slight disapproval of such a lifestyle, especially when I claim myself as a ‘modern feminist’. As in any other life aspect we can choose to be whatever we want and call it whatever we like. Being a feminist, for me, definitively describes exactly who I want to be and I want to inspire other women to join me.
I am aware many people get a severe rolling eye attack on the mention of the word ‘feminism’. Recently I asked some of my male friends to share a line or two on ‘feminism’. Unfortunately, I couldn’t see their face expression when they read my question but the answers I got were in general very diplomatic telling that they think all women do have equal rights and if not, they should have it. There were a few (funny?) comments mentioning ‘militant lesbians’, ‘frigid women’ and ‘american mumbo jumbo’. I am really not sure what the last comment is referring to, but the others were followed by a couple of Emojis so I didn’t take those too seriously. When I did the same asking my female friends, almost all of them said there is no need for feminism since we do have equal rights and can do whatever we want. Then I start to wonder, if we really can do whatever it is that we want – why am I judged for doing exactly that?
The feminists all over the world have fought so hard for us to legally have equal rights as men, to be able to get the same education, work and respect. There is no doubt that in many countries, the rights are well respected and hopefully the rest of the world will follow. Is that it? No.
Now it is the time to stop telling men why and how we deserve equal rights but rather convince our daughters, sisters, girlfriends to use the rights the feminists in the past have fought so bravely for us to enjoy nowadays. Women are settling down for too little, and that is solely our fault. It is easier to blame others for our mischiefs, we can say all men are stupid and we should throw rocks at them but at the end, are we, the women any better? First of all, don’t take yourself too serious when you’re heartbroken and second, think about the times you played your cards not so fair and square. We’ve come so far from having men order us what to do, we have free will and right to do whatever it is that we want. A lot of people identify feminism with men hating but I like to think of it as women empowerment. I believe in power of choice and the still existing problem I see nowadays is that many girls are either not offered or aware that they can do whatever they want. You want to have a family and be a housewife? Go for it. You want to dedicate all your time for your career? Go for it. You want to leave everything and spend your life roaming the planet? Go for it. You want to have five husbands? Go for it! (And, good luck with that one!)There is no rule book on what a perfect woman is. For me perfect is happy. If you’re satisfied with what you’ve build up your life to be, then you’re living a perfect life, no matter what other think.
Let’s not judge or be jealous of choices other take. Let’s support the ones that are struggling and learn from the ones that are better than us! Being a woman is great, we have the brains and the skills, it’s solely on us to use it!